Advance Wars 2 Part #40 - Interview 20 - “Skirmish On The Shores” (Or, “Rose’s Rampage”)

Part 40: Interview 20 - “Skirmish On The Shores” (Or, “Rose’s Rampage”)

Interview 20 - “Skirmish On The Shores” (Or, “Rose’s Rampage”)

Alright, hit me. What's happening today?

Today, we finally get to see Kanbei in action.

Oh, this should be good.

Eh? What’s that? Danger! Sound the alarm!

Oh, Father, calm down! That’s no danger to us. Those are the missile silos we installed for our protection. With those, our country’s self-defence network is perfect!

Mmmm… Attacking from afar is not to my liking, but at times, it’s unavoidable. While we await the enemy, instruct me in the use of these…silos.

He says this in the exact same way old people ask young people to teach them about “the YouTube” and “these…mobile phone devices”.

YC Soldier: Commander! We’re under attack!

What? The enemy is here?!

Impossible! It can’t be! My intel reported no enemy troops in this region…

Welp, your intel sucks. Though Blue Moon’s did as well, so I guess there’s no country that has good intel.

Except for Nell, who seems virtually omniscient.

Ah, yes, Nell knew everything about everywhere.

The silos! They’re unguarded! The enemy is trying to take them!

Don’t worry, Sonja. I will go.

But… But… What if the enemy reaches them first? You’ll be…

I am the leader of this country. I shall not fail in my duty.

He’s not quite as air-headed as I recall. In fact, that line was almost badass.

Move out! Kanbei’s forces ride!

Silos are always fun. Hopefully the enemy don't get access to them too, though.

Well, here's the map. Flak's forces start in the bottom left, and Kanbei's in the top right. It is quite literally a scramble.

Yeah, the first person to reach that middle island has a gigantic advantage.

The missile silos can only be operated by infantry or mech units. If you reach them first, you’ll be able to launch a single missile!

I understand. Do not fear, my loyal subjects. Kanbei rides with you!

Ah, yes. Here are today's deployments.

TODAY’S DEPLOYMENTS
Lysander, Infantry
Talora, Infantry
Vanessa, Infantry
Aymil, APC
Andromeda, Tank
Rose, Medium Tank
Dymek, Rockets
Kevin, Battleship
Issam, Lander

KEVIN
Age: 33
Personality: Glory-seeking devout soldier.
Proficiencies: Cruiser, Sub, Battleship

Ah, Rose in a medium tank. This is definitely going to be fun. So what's Kanbei's deal, anyway? Same as last time?

On average his units had a 20% damage and defensive bonus last time, correct?

Yeah, but they were 20% more expensive to build.

Well... they're still 20% more expensive but they now have a 30% boost to damage and defenses.

What.

And he can increase that even more with his SCOP?

Minor spoilers, my dude, but... this battle is very much a massacre.

All massacres start somewhere, though. He deploys Lysander and Talora for now.

"Talora, you don't have to keep me company every time I take to the field, you know." says Lysander, shrugging. Talora smiles at him.

"I'm afraid I do. You're still young, and it's my job to look after you!"

"Unbelievable." sighs Lysander. "Joined the army to get away from my mother, and now I've got a mother figure anyway. What a lose-lose sitch this is..."

Flak just deploys some infantry. There's not much else either party can do.

Makes sense.

They'll be on capturing duty for now. Kanbei needs money even more than the average CO does, so there's no time to waste.

Next, he deploys Vanessa.

Ah, angry girl.

In case you're curious, Flak's troops are just wandering around capturing things. Though he'll soon be making preparations to nab that central island.

Kanbei had better start doing the same thing.

Well, he's making progress on capturing the buildings around the HQ. He'll turn his attention island-ward soon enough.

To that end, he deploys an APC for Vanessa. It's Aymil.

"Aymil! We're heading into the thick of it, then?" asks Vanessa.

"Seems like it, yes." Aymil replies, shrugging. "You ready?"

"Born ready." Vanessa replies grimly.

Flak's troops have found a port.

God, it's been forever since we had a bote map. Do they use botes that much?

You'll see. Anyway, there's Flak's APC. That'll be barrelling towards the central island soon enough.

Welp, time for Vanessa and Aymil to start their road trip then.

Quite.

Whilst they do that, Talora finishes capturing another building. Lysander, meanwhile, is going for the nearby port.

Yar-harr! Splice the mainbrace and, uh, whatnot!

My goodness. How convincing. It's like there's a pirate in this very room.

The enemy be capturin' a port of their own! A sea battle is coming soon, me hearties!

Aye! Incomin' fire, lads, batten down the mizzenmast!

Oh my god please stop.

I make no promises. Oh, hey, a tank.

Yes, Flak intends to use force to capture the central island.

Lysander starts capturing the po-

YO HO HO ANDaaaaaaaargh

I really don't want to tase you, my dude. But sometimes I have to.

aaaaaaaaaaaargh

Oh, stop it, you baby. It was 600 volts.

aaaaaaaoh hey this is actually a good strategy.

It is?

The enemy's got another silo nearby. If Aymil had dropped Vanessa off, she'd have taken a hit and her capturing prowess would have been weakened. But by not dropping her off, Aymil can just absorb both hits. And since he's an APC, the damage is pretty much meaningless. Flak's wasted his silos, basically.

I see. Rather ingenious, that. Well done, Kanbei.

I can assure you, this was definitely Rose's strategy. Kanbei isn't nearly this bright.

Flak's big pile of infantry continue capturing things, anyway.

And his tank is heading for the island. It's gonna destroy Aymil unless Kanbei figures something out.

The port has been captured. I will allow you to say one pirate thing.

Ahoy, mateys, we'll be sailing the seas in no time!

Now then, Aymil drops Vanessa off on this base, but with the enemy tank on the way and no way to defeat it, it may not be a good idea to start capturing right now.

No kidding. This is going to be tough.

Talora elects to help by heading south to the silo.

A tank and an infantry... it's not looking good. Flak with a bunch of silos is going to be tough to break. And he's got a lander ready for a naval approach, too.

The actions today will be crucial to the success of the map.

First, Talora smacks the enemy forces with a silo.

Bleh. Kanbei's battleships are stupidly expensive.

No kidding. We'll have to wait a few more turns before we see one of those get deployed.

"Take this! My strategy is perfect!" Vanessa yells, targeting the upcoming enemies with a silo. "Kanbei will have to recognise my superiority after this!"

Surprisingly enough, this isn't as bad as it looks. The tank's down to 4HP, and Kanbei's units get a 30% defensive boost. Plus, silos grant 3 defence stars.

Oh, wow, I didn't even know that. So... Vanessa's just gonna facetank a, well, tank?

Yes.

She sustains a single point of damage.

My god, Kanbei builds his troops out of titanium.

In order to prevent the infantry from getting to the silos, Aymil takes a defensive position. Vanessa is there too.

Next, Kanbei deploys Andromeda.

"Hello..." murmurs Andromeda. "I will... do my best."

Kanbei's infantry continue their capturing, but the tank...

...goes for Lysander. Interesting! Kanbei's lured it up north so that Andromeda can squash it.

Lysander manages to do a bit of damage as well. Kanbei's units really are something else, aren't they?

This infantry, meanwhile, does absolutely no damage.

I can't think of anything more depressing than not being able to damage an APC on 4HP.

There's another tank and an artillery on the way, though. Aymil isn't going to be able to hold this line forever.

If Vanessa can capture a base on the island, that should definitely help. They can deploy units right to the front line then.

And that's exactly what Vanessa is doing.

Lysander, seemingly unbothered by the enraged tank that keeps shooting him, gets on with some capturing.

It won't be a threat much longer now that Andromeda's here, thank goodness.

It makes a valiant effort to damage Lysander to any notable degree, but fails.

Speaking of fails, this infantry. He fails, too.

It is almost unfair how strong Kanbei is.

The tanks are catching up, though. Kanbei needs to take decisive action if he wants to retain his momentum.

You mean action like "shit them the fuck up with a bunch of silos"?

Well, they're not the exact words I would have used, but yes.

Ah, Vanessa's almost got the base. That's good.

Furthermore, Kanbei now has the excessive amount of funds needed for a battleship. Meet Kevin.

"I will fight and die for my country! I am Kevin, noble warrior for the most glorious nation of Yellow Comet! For the Emperor!"

"Oh, god, he's one of those soldiers." sighs Lysander as the enemy tank shoots him. "Typical do-gooder type."

"Hey, Kevin..." says Talora. "You know dying for your country is optional, right? Most of us aim to not die in battle."

"I'll consider it!" shouts Kevin. "But for now, we fight and DIE, men!"

"There's no getting through to him." Lysander says, shrugging. "Also, can someone get this fucking tank off my back? He's not dangerous but it's kind of irritating. I'm trying to capture something here."

"Oh! Yes... I will do that, friend Lysander." Andromeda replies, driving her tank over as quickly as she can.

"Beautiful." Lysander replies, grinning. "Alright, that's all I need. Later."

"Oh, um... goodbye..."

Yeah, Kanbei having pre-deployed units is best. It does take him a while to build up the funds he needs.

Hopefully he'll receive troops at the central island in time to defeat the upcoming tanks and artillery units.

Until that infantry moves, the tanks aren't a threat, to be fair. The artillery will be if it moves forward, though.

We shall see how it goes. Andromeda should be making her way down here soon.

Let's not forget Kevin, too. A battleship is a really solid ranged unit.

True. Vanessa captures the base, meanwhile. This island is slowly become Kanbei's uncontested property.

He's just got to kick out those meddling kids who keep bashing at his door. Which is an APC in this analogy.

At least Andromeda should be able to replace him. She'll be a more solid defensive option.

Amusingly enough, none of Flak's units can attack because they're all clogging up the bridge. So the artilleries also aren't very threatening at the moment.

This is so stupid, even for Flak.

Kevin gets into position - next turn, he'll be able to delete anything that steps onto the bridge.

Vanessa was able to heal the damage she took, so she's back to full capturing capacity now. That'll be useful for getting the rest of these buildings.

Ah, and Aymil can retreat now. Andromeda will serve as a better wall.

Kanbei also deploys Dymek as a rocket unit. With so much ranged support, the island is pretty much safe now.

Flak's units line up like lambs to the slaughter.

Let the carnage begin.

And by carnage I apparently meant capturing.

It's important. Lysander is capturing a port; Talora is catching up, too, for support on the central island.

The carnage will begin properly next turn. There's still one unit we're missing.

Fine, I'll wait.

CARNAAAAAAGE

There's your so-called "carnage". To be honest, it is a ridiculous amount of damage. Kevin pretty much erases the enemy tank.

And so does Dymek. My goodness, these units...

Yeah, Kanbei is stupidly good. I'm just glad he's on our side now.

With the tanks gone, Andromeda is safe to destroy this infantry, too. There's nothing that can initiate on her and actually do damage.

The other port has been captured. You may say another pirate thing.

Uh... um... Jolly Roger! Yaharr!

"Jolly Roger"?

_{I ran out of pirate things to say.}

Anyway... Rose joins the fun.

"It would be most unwise to oppose me when I am controlling a medium tank, one of the most powerful military weapons in Yellow Comet's arsenal. Yet, based on the intel I have received, Flak can be summed up succinctly as 'most unwise'." Rose says as the medium tank rumbles out of the base. "Ranged troops and Andromeda, I will require your support. The rest of you... please sit back and watch as I eviscerate Flak."

A tank and medium tank, supported by a battleship, rockets, and four silos? This is going to be an absolute bloodbath.

Rose does not, as they say, "fuck around".

Flak does have a medium tank of his own now, though. Hm. This could be interesting.

I can assure you it won't be.

Now... now the carnage begins.

Talora unleashes missile-related death upon the enemy, catching virtually all of the major threats.

And Kevin absolutely ruins this infantry's day.

Before the above infantry can even say "hey what happened to alan", he too is destroyed, by Dymek this time.

And once Andromeda opens the way...

Rose can move in and prepare for combat. Oh, I cannot wait to see this.

Oh, Flak does have his CO Power, though.

Flak prepares a mighty blow to crush his opponent.

By which I mean, "Flak obstinately fails to do any damage to anything".

Pfft. God, I love Black Hole COs. They're so useless.

Vanessa takes the chance to hit the foe with another silo.

To be fair, with how much damage Kanbei's units do, that feels like adding insult to injury. It was probably unnecessary.

Or maybe not. Forgot how bulky medium tanks are.

Indeed. But once more, Kevin and Dymek pretty much remove all major threats.

Andromeda goes to take out the APC, but she is in range of two artilleries. They might be weak, but two hits is two hits.

Ah, thankfully Rose can absolutely destructinate this poor artillery.

Her damage is certainly overwhelming.

Up north, meanwhile, Issam is deployed as a lander, and prepares to carry Lysander down to the enemy port.

Flak's forces have already been virtually routed, and he's going to struggle to keep up with deployments once Rose gets closer to his bases.

The artillery plinks away at Andromeda. Not much damage, I'm guessing?

Correct. She'd have sustained more damage if she'd stood on Lego.

Meanwhile, just in case Lysander takes too long to reach the enemy HQ, Talora gets into Aymil to get carried further down.

The more options you have for capturing an HQ, the better. You never know what tricks the enemy has. Except for Flak, who has no tricks.

You'll note that Kevin and Dymek have moved south, too, though Kevin's done almost everything he can on this map. Anyway, Andromeda defeats the other artillery.

And, well, Rose does a frightening amount of damage to this poor mech.

Issam heads south, I see. If he's planning on landing at the enemy port, Kanbei will need to destroy the lander currently in the port.

Very true. We'll get to that.

For now, we'll see what Flak's last-ditch effort is.

Apparently its mechs.

That is rather a lot of mechs, yes...

Still, Andromeda and Rose want to move forwards, so Kevin can get rid of this infantry in their way. It saves them from wasting their turn killing it.

Wow, I forgot how ridiculous the battleship range is.

And in the meantime, Dymek will be taking care of the enemy lander.

Vanessa has a taste for blood now, and launches another silo, hitting every single enemy soldier in one fell swoop.

Nice shot!

That hit puts the enemy in range to be destroyed, which is useful.

"Hmph." Rose says as she blasts another mech to kingdom come. "Flak has the tactical ability of a bowl of rice pudding, and his soldiers are folding more quickly than Michael playing poker. Is this really the army that tried to invade every single country at the same time? Pathetic, frankly. I'm barely trying."

This is absolutely insane. Kanbei is... so strong.

Indeed he is. An APC with a mech in is trying to sneak past Rose, but unfortunately wanders into the range of Kevin.

The lander, meanwhile, goes down to another rocket volley from Dymek. Issam is safe to land there now.

I see that Vanessa is still having fun with silos.

The map provided her with five silos. What was she going to do? Not fire them?

Andromeda takes out the weakened units, meanwhile.

Ah, and Issam and Lysander have arrived. Aymil and Talora are catching up too. This map is pretty much over.

With the kind of damage that Rose produces? Yes. Yes it is.

And this lump's got his CO Power again.

But once more he doesn't attack with it.

Pfft. This is great. I know Flak is an idiot, but to be defeated so easily... it's kind of hilarious.

Unfortunately, Andromeda can't quite kill this mech, so Rose will have to finish it.

Unsurprisingly, she does far too much damage.

Oh, that's a brutal setup. Anything deployed on the right base will be instantly crushed by Dymek's rockets, and that infantry can't move, so Flak can't deploy anything else. Plus, Talora's right next to the base now.

Yes, Kanbei has all but won.

But of course, Rose is his ACO... so of course Kanbei is going to win in style.

"Everybody give it your all!" Rose shouts. "There is nothing that can touch the invincible army of Yellow Comet!"

Fuck yes! I'm feeling patriotic and I'm not even from Yellow Comet.

The damage boost is enough for Dymek to completely eliminate this mech on his own.

And who else but Rose could finish off the last infantry?

"Flak. That was a disappointing showing. Even Andy at his worst could outthink you, but unfortunately for you, you were facing me at my best, and I could run rings around you with half your funds and no properties." Rose says. "That didn't even excite me. I want a real challenge."

Would you like a fun fact?

Sure.

Flak: Must find a way… to escape…

When Hawke heard that Flak had been defeated by an eleven-year-old, he demoted him on the spot and forbade him from taking command of Black Hole forces ever again.

Pffthahahahah, he totally deserves it. He's lost to almost every CO at this point.

The enemy has been routed!

I’m sorry, Father. I almost destroyed us all.

What, your silos? Don’t be ridiculous, Sonja. It is because of those silos that we won here today.

They were kind of stupidly good, especially when you get 5 in the same area. It does make me wonder if the dialogue changes if you beat the map without using the silos, though...

Father…

There’s no rest for the weary! Battle awaits, and we must ride forth to meet it!